Dear The X Factor Audience, stop voting for Janet.
Yeah, she got through, but that is for later.
First, it was a group performance! They did that song by Bryan Adams, you know, When You're Gone. Yeah, that one. Still, the group performance was the same as ever. Then came Bryan, who did what he did best, not sing and just play guitar. Then he sung. I still don't forgive him for writing Everything I Do. Bastard.
Then it was that scouser woman who spoke to Marcus, or something. I thought she was boring last year, and this year she is even more boring. Meh song, meh singing. That's all I say.
Then came Rihanna, who I missed. Oops.
RESULTS TIME!
Misha... Little Mix... Marcus... Then there was three. Say Amelia, please.
WHAT! JANET! You bunch of fucking tone deaf fuckers. Oh well, it's an extra Amelia performance I suppose. That makes it a bit better. Also Craig is in the bottom two. He wasn't the worst last night (JANET JANET JANET JANET) but he was definitely weak. Hard sing-off to call.
Craig did some song by somebody. It was too slow. Nice vocals showcase, but not interesting. Down-tempo isn't his strong point. Mid-Tempo Soul-Blues *cough*Adele*cough* is his style.
Woop, here comes Amelia. She's doing You and I by Lady Gaga, which she will do really well. I know she will. You know she will. Everyone knows she will. Oh look, she did it well. It was really, really great. Kinda glad she was in the bottom two now.
I already knew the judges choces. Gary and Tulisa save Craig, Louis and Kelly save Amelia. That was correct. However, I am now going into a SUPAGARYRANT!
How dare that dimwit say Amelia was shouting. I mean, did he realize this was both of them tryign to survive in the competition. This isn't the time to randomly slate an opposing, and let's face it, better act. Next time you want to claim somebody can't sing or shouts through their performances, go and listen to anything that little prick Frankie did. Absolute turd.
Anyway, that ends Gary rant 1.0.
Deadlock came for the first time, and I was worried my other, probably most, favourite performer would be out. Craig was out. I sighed with relief. Then we reviewed Kirkby Biscuit Boy's journey. It featured him looking different and also him making sex faces. Bye Craig, you're best is still Jar of Hearts.
Meanwhile, Amelia is still in! I'd love her to do Hurt or Fighter by Christina Aguilera. Let's not forget, it's really difficult to sing a black womans song, especially if you aren't an R&B/Soul singer. So next weeks predictions! I said George Michael and Elton John for the theme, so let's do song-ing!
Elton John
Marcus: Crocodile Rock - He'll do this won't he? Paige did it last year and they are pretty alike. It's probably obvious
Janet: Your Song - Of course she'll do this, it's obvious.
Misha: Tiny Dancer (Hold Me Closer) - Yeah, that Ironik and Chipmunk version. A rule bend that will probably happen.
Amelia: Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting - As much as I'd hate to see it, she'd probably do this. Her growly vocals mike make this song good though. Oh, what am I kidding. She's always good.
Mix Up Their Names: Don't Go Breaking My Heart - It's got more people. A single person cant do a duet (unless your that bloke from Britains Got Talent) so they might.
George Michael
Marcus: Too Funky - It's an R&B song. Yeah I know.
Janet: Faith - This is the only song she could probably even attempt, but if she did Freeek! I'd vote for her.
Misha: Careless Whisper - She's doing crapballads now, so this is obvious.
Amelia: Praying for Time - No other GM song fits her style. Also, this would be good.
The Mix: This Is Not Real Love - Yeah, that song with Mutya Benya. Well, she's the same genre as Mix, right?
So yeah, my Kelly hate has been directed at Gary 'I Am A Massive Twat' Barlow today, for worthy reasons.
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