Yes, I know. My predictions were shite. Still, Janet still should of done You'll Be in My Heart. It wouldn't have been as awful as the song she did do.
Anyway! Let's get one with the slating!
Dermot came out as Bond, and looked like a drunk trying to be George Lazenby. Also, there wasn't a spin! Dermot! You fucking idiot! He also made a couple of Star Wars references, and I called Imperial March for the Judge Intro.
I was nearly right, it was the Star Wars theme. Nerdbomb. Louis is wearing the same, Tulisa's tattoo now reads 'Little Mix will be unpredictable', Kelly is wearing a mosiac and Gary is dressed as an 80 year old. Then came the performances.
Up first was Kirkby's Biscuit Boy Craig. FYI, he's going out with Danyl from that other X Factor series. Again, with the boring ass VTs. He's doing a Bond song aaand (please be Diamonds are Forever)... it's License to Kill. For fucks sake. It's shite. It was his 2nd worst live performance, after Best Thing I Never Had. He's in trouble I reckon.
Next was Mrs. Pale Janet. Yeah, she didn't do Phil Collins, she did Kiss Me by Sixpence None the Richer. They went to Twilight or something (I would have stayed at the house) and apparently her and Kelly are friends. Well, not sworn enemies at least. She then did Kiss Me, a combination of crappy Floorfillers Week and her her annoying singing accent ala Fix You. Yeah, it was shit. She can't sing.
Next up was Amelia. She is my favourite, as you all know. Oh yeah, she might go blind 'cause of diabetes apparently. VT was about how she cant believe she's back (everyone else can) and how the girls went to a spa. She's also doing a song from Bridget's Jones Diary. It's Think by Aretha Franklin. It's her weakest performance, predominately because of song choice, but she definitely did as much as she could for the song. She belted it out and returned to the Hard Pop (No, I don't know either) genre she had Week 1. I think she has been the strongest so far, but as I say, not amazing.
Then came Misha 'No, I am not a Bully' B. That VT was fucking pointless. People go on about how Louis and Tulisa were tactically making her look bad, bit this wasn't better. We know nobody likes her, we know she is in the bottom two. This was just leverage for the crap singer she is. She's also doing a song from The Bodyguard. That means it is gonna be I Have Nothing. It was, and how fucking boring was that? I've seen more life in Janet. Nothing like her style, and nowhere did I find it interesting. Please Misha, go back to being a soul singer.
Next up was Madam Mix-a-Lot. They continued to get special treatment by meeting The Saturdays, who are also shit. Tulisa says they are going to be unpredictable, and unless they come out singing Arma-goddamn-motherfuckin-geddon by Marilyn Manson or Psychosocial by Slipknot, I don't believe her. They are doing that En Vogue song from that film that is more obscure than Gummo and actually, it's their strongest performance since E.T. Vocals were tighter than I had seen them do, and it's also rockier than their performance on Rock week. Hmm... nah... their safe.
Finally was Marcus 'I am never gonna do anything other than 50s swing soul' Collins. He did something from Ghostbusters. No, it wasn't that. Sadface. It is another fucking Jackie Wilson song! NO MARCUS! STOP DOING THAT GENRE! REET PETITE WAS GOOD! THIS WAS FUCKING SHIT! Yeah, I just said that. It was awful. I didn't like it. Also, it was from Ghostbusters 2! What a con!
So, a short'un. Next week is the return of the two songs. About time. I think Craig and Janet might slip into the bottom two this week, but you know who I want to be there *cough*Misha*cough* but I know she wont. If she is, and especially if she's in there with Marcus who was weak, she is gone. WOOP!
Predictions? Of course. Later. I think the two themes are:
Elton John
and
Michael Jackson
I'll do the songs after I know who is gone.
No comments:
Post a Comment