Hello, another blog by me. This time, I will be doing posts on various reality shows blasting opinions by people and highlighting my own. So, for the first post, it is this weeks X Factor.
Let's rewind back to yesterday. The show begun with... wait... what the fuck? Goldie has somehow managed to wriggle back on to our screens, albeit with a beautiful rendition of Copper Bell by... who the bloody hell knows. This is followed by audition highlights, including biscuit boy Craig and the corpse bride Janet.
Ah, there we go. Dermot continued to baffle me with his entrances. The signiature spin is enough for me. Then came the judges. It's same-suit Louis Walsh, chop-and-changer Tulisa whaserface, Kelly Rowland who came as James Bond and of course, everyones favourite bastard, Gary Barlow.
Dermot says that the Overs are first up. That meant Kitty. Kitty was one of my favourites. Her Sweet Dreams performance was one of the best in the series. Oh wait, Misha is doing her song. Born this Way would have been done 10x better by Kitty, I assure you. She's did Don't Stop Me Now instead. It was OK. Definitely not her strongest. Maybe her worst live performance.Tulisa somehow said it suited her, when it definitely didn't. You don't give a power vocalist a quick song without big notes.
Then came Kirkby's most famous Craig Colton. The same sort of VT he always had. Euh. He did Paparazzi. Euh. Same thing from Craig. The slows pretty song anyway, so to make it a ballad was unneccasary. Again, another male Adele performance. Euh. Oh yeah, and it was NOT his best performance. It is, and always will be, Jar of Hearts.
And next, Groups. So that means Rhythmix/Little Mix/Whatever fucking Mix they are. Tulisa made them curry or something. They were also shocked by The Risk's exit (woop) and then said 'nobody's safe'. Now, I am not a fan, I only really liked E.T. and their rendition of Tik Tok on Not Rock Week was dreadful. I called they would do Telephone and I was half right. They shoved four lines of Radio Gaga on it. Another meh performance. It was their second best, I suppose.
Oh no. It was Janet next. Little Miss Plague is never going to be good in my eyes. Terribly dull ballads and awfully done 'fast' songs. It still shocks me that she moved last week. Oh christ, she is going to kill Somebody to Love, and my kill, I mean slice into small chunks, shit on them and feed them to 42 hungry badgers and gophers. I guessed it, it was awful. Finally, Gary realises she is the definition of dull. I want her gone. Now.
Ey Up, here comes Mr. 50s Marcus. He was the favourite last week with Reet Petite, and it was his best. Well, anything beats Moves Like Jagger. He has another predictable VT, and then he begins. Oh christ, is that Another One Bites the Dust on a trumpet? Oh no, he's doing it in a swing style. Way to piggyback on last weeks success. It was worse than last week, and was just playing on his jazz success. It's black/brown/unracist remark about skin colour Ray Quinn!
Misha BB Gun to my Head is up next. She is doing Kitty's wished song, and it won't be as good, I promise. Kelly's rather snide comment of 'To show why she deserves to be doing this song' really pissed me off. Not even her wearing another Quality Street could make me happy. The VT again shows how Manchester loves her. One random black/brown/unracist remark about skin colour person along with a group of black/brown/unracist remark about skin colour people says how Manchester is behind you. A similar remark could be made by replacing Misha B with Holly Hagan and Manchester with Frankie.
Anyway, she did Born this Way. Mixing was terrible. A random hip hop beat was stuck in, and yet again Misha sings with irritating vocals. She is growing in confidence, and decreasing in talent. Remember when she was a soul singer and did Respect by Aretha Franklin? Me neither.
This was the point where the one returning was announced. It was Jonjo, 2 Shoes, James or Amelia. This means Amelia is returning. Dermot says that they won with 48%. This means Amelia is returning. Dermot says that Amelia is returning. This means Amelia is returning. She was my absolute favourite. How she was kicked off over Sophie, Janet and Misha confused me. Her Billie Jean was really good. The music was just loud. Also, she had the best Judges Houses performance in the competition. Anyway, she did one of my favourite Queen songs, The Show Must Go On, aptly. It was fantastic. She definitely stole the show. Corpse and Darth Vader better watch out.
Then the results. There were two performers, so that meant a rubbish group performance was inevitable. And it was. They did Walking on Sunshine. As always, out of sync. Also, Craig did more sex faces. Then it was One Direction, who I hate so I didn't watch them. Then it Mrs. Mental herself, Lady Gaga. All I thought was... THE FUCK!?
The bottom two was Kitty and Misha B. You all know who I want to go, but we all know who will go. Kitty does an unexpected song, Over the Rainbow, and gives one of her best vocals. She needs to do this more on the actual live shows. It was very good, a showcase of small vocals this time.
And here comes Mrs. Vader. She is doing a ballad, again, you know like all the ones she does all the time. It's that new Jessie J song. It was incredibly whiny. I'd send her home, with my index and middle finger.
It's obvious Kitty went, sadly. At least this shows that people now dislike Misha, which is always a plus for me.
A crap week really. If Amelia Lily didn't come back I would probably shave my cat and eat the fur and of sheer despair. If next week isn't an actual good week (AKA not Big Band, or Adele) then Imma be annoyed.
Oh, and on these I will also be doing 'Next Week and Song Choices'. It's basically what my Week and Song predictions.
Week: The Beatles and Another Unthemed Song.
Craig: Let it Be and Back to Black by Amy Winehouse
Marcus: Come Together and Chain Gang by Sam Cooke
Janet: Hey Jude and Snow ((Hey Oh)) by Red Hot Chili Peppers
Misha: Twist and Shout and Empire State of Mind by Jay-Z ft. Alicia Keys
Amelia: Helter Skelter and Hurt by Christina Aguilera
Little Mix: With a Little Help from My Friends and Irreplaceable by Beyoncé
I suppose 'wishful thinking' was involved but I can assure you a Beatles week will see Craig do Let it Be and Marcus do Come Togerher. I'm just disappointed Johnny isn't in it. He'd do a rockin' Yellow Submarine.
No comments:
Post a Comment